Paper football comes to SES

The hallways at Sundance Elementary School were filled with the raucous roars of the watching spectators last Thursday as two titans battled it out for the title of Fifth Grade Paper Football World Champion 2024. Ella Schloredt was crowned the victor and will reign as the 2024 champion forever. 

Schloredt, an early favorite in the brackets, doggedly worked her way through the competition to earn a spot in the title game. Meanwhile, Tamsin Castelli, with graceful moves we haven't seen since the '80s, had several matchups that came down to the wire.

Both ladies stared down the competition with tight smiles and used their intimidation techniques. Spectators likened them to Serena Williams and Chuck Liddell. 

Prior to the final matchup, rumors flew that both girls put in additional effort visualizing for their matchups and were eating their Wheaties before arriving to school. 

Castelli, considered by many to be the underdog, said in a post-matchup interview, "It was surprising, I never thought I'd make it there [to the final round]. I was excited, but also kind of sad when I lost. I'm actually really proud of myself!"

When the dust settled, and the final flick of the paper football concluded, the scoreboard showed that Schloredt had bested Castelli 106 to 72.

A triumphant Schloredt expressed appreciation for the support of her fans.

"Thank you for supporting me and helping me make history. Just be confident and believe in yourself," she advised anyone seeking to improve the quality of their life by becoming a paper football world champion. 

As the endorsements begin to roll in, wish Schloredt luck in her future endeavors and hope she doesn't forget her humble origins in the hallowed halls of Sundance Elementary School 5th Grade Paper Football World Championship League.