This Side of the Pond

When a scandal comes along, one expects it to involve some combination of sex, drugs, gambling and alcohol, maybe a murder or three. Without those juicy elements, what’s the use in having one at all?

There’s no point asking the Brits, because we prefer to be understated even when it comes to our scandals. Back in my homeland, the story of the week has centered on a sofa and matching set of rugs.

They’re calling it the “Cash for Curtains” saga, so not even the name is all that thrilling. Even so, Prime Minister Boris Johnson is being accused of “sleaze” and “cronyism” due to his expensive taste in dining room chairs.

The prime minister lives in a private residence next door to his place of work, which of course is 10 Downing Street. Like the Oval Office when a new president takes the oath, it can be redecorated to suit the tastes of its owner each time the top political title switches hands.

An annual public grant of around $40,000 is made available for this purpose. However, it has come to light that Boris and his fiancée, Carrie Symonds, have spent something in the region of $275,000 on doing the place up how they like it.

The fact that he’s snobbish about his place settings isn’t the problem – it’s where the extra money came from. Former advisor Dominic Cummings has accused Boris of hatching a “possibly illegal” plan to allow donors to pay for the renovations.

Here’s the problem with that accusation: it came from a man whose own bad behavior has quite literally spawned scientific studies. Back in May, 2020, Britain had already been faring badly from the pandemic for several months, but most people were obediently following the lockdown rules.

Mr. Cummings, who at that time was a senior aide, broke those rules by traveling to a family estate with his wife and child – and then he didn’t apologize or resign. Later studies demonstrated the impact of his actions, which undermined public health messaging and caused a huge amount of resentment among the Brits.

Those studies show a clear decrease in confidence and trust in the British government after Cummings took his trip, which in turn had a negative effect on people’s willingness to follow the guidance. The impact was so marked that it has become known as “The Cummings Effect.”

Is this the sort of person to trust with information about the prime minister’s carpets? It’s hard to say, especially as he was finally forced out of Boris’s inner circle at the end of last year, so I doubt he’s feeling all that friendly towards him, but I’m leaning towards the idea of not trusting a single one of them.

Does it matter where the information came from? Even Boris doesn’t seem to think so. When asked if he blamed Cummings for the pickle he’d found himself in, the prime minister said, “I don’t think people give a monkey’s, to be frank, about who is briefing what to who.”

The scandal deepened when it was reported that Boris and Carrie decided to redecorate because they had inherited what a visitor to their home called “a John Lewis furniture nightmare” from predecessor Theresa May.

To put this in perspective, John Lewis is a mid-range chain of department stores that sell relatively nice furnishings. It’s not the sort of place where you’ll be asked to pay several thousand dollars for a side table, but it also prides itself on not being the right destination for bargain-hunting – so much so, in fact, that its motto is, “Never Knowingly Undersold.”

Poor old John Lewis was hurt by Boris’s opinion, but they’re British so they couldn’t make a fuss. Instead, they hid their annoyance behind a post on Twitter about how they have something for “almost” everybody, which came complete with a photo of one of their trucks outside Downing Street.

The Labour Party leader, Sir Keir Starmer, got himself into an argument with Boris during “Prime Minister’s Questions” last week. This is an hour-long weekly event during which members of parliament have the opportunity to quiz the current PM on whatever matters they deem important. In this case, it was skirting boards.

During the exchange, Boris stated, “I covered the costs.” However, he wouldn’t say whether he was loaned any money to cover the costs, and therein lies the rub: if a politician accepts money from a donor, either as a gift or loan, they are expected to make the information public.

(Sir Kier, taking a cue from the department store in question, was later photographed perusing the wallpaper selection at his local John Lewis, with his mask doing little to cover the cheeky grin.)

Boris, meanwhile, has come out strongly against the rumors of nefarious interior decorating. He was adamant in his statements that he…does like John Lewis after all.

“If there is one thing I object to in this whole farrago of nonsense it’s that, if anything, I love John Lewis,” he is quoted as saying.

The Electoral Commission has begun an investigation to discover whether the government department responsible for Downing Street received a loan that could be classed as a political donation to cover the cost of the refurbishment. This could lead to a large fine and, of course, another blow to the people’s faith in their current government.

However, even this part of the procedure is causing headaches, because Boris’s own standards adviser, Lord Geidt, is performing the investigation. Boris himself will be the final judge of whether he’s breached the ministerial code, which, as the Labour Party has pointed out, is rather a case of him getting to “mark his own homework.”

It’s not a good look for a world leader, it’s true, and the last thing we need is more reasons to distrust our governments. On the other hand, I suppose I can’t disagree with Boris, who said, “With great respect, I don’t think that this is the number one issue [for the government]…by several orders of magnitude.” But mostly, I have to admit that I’m patiently waiting for the photographs, because I’m fascinated to see what manner of curtains are worth this level of fuss.