This Side of the Pond

It’s amazing what you can get away with when you simply refuse to acknowledge your own actions. I disappeared down an internet rabbithole this week as I explored the story of a gentleman from the UK who has spent months running a Japanese restaurant from his home while denying he is running a Japanese restaurant from his home – and getting away with it.

Sherlock Holmes would not have found this a mystery worthy of his attention, but somehow the local council has been unable to solve it. The great restaurant debate has been going on for over two years, since Orlando Williams had to close his actual Japanese restaurant in the center of Norwich and came up with a plan to keep serving food.

Williams’ neighbors complained to the council in October, 2018 that he was running a restaurant inside his own home, which – obviously – is in a residential part of town. This breaches the city’s planning regulations, so Norwich City Council was compelled to investigate.

They asked Mr. Williams if he was running a restaurant, to which he replied that he was not. This was good enough for the council, even though the evidence was already beginning to grow.

For example, he printed the word “Sakura” above his front door, which is conveniently the same name as his former legitimate restaurant. The enormous sign reading “Orlando’s” that took up most of the front façade of the residence was, I’d say, another fairly blatant clue.

But Mr. Williams had a good explanation: he just likes to have his name on his house. A perfectly ordinary, illuminated version of his name in giant letters, as you’ll definitely find on so many other homes across the world.

The local newspaper got involved at this point to ask Mr. Williams if he’d been using the property as a restaurant. “What you are saying to me is wrong,” he replied, though I have a suspicion it was not.

A little sleuthing by the newspaper revealed that the Sakura page on Facebook had updated its address and phone number to match the Williams residence – when they called the number, whoever answered confirmed this was correct. The same neighbors who complained about Williams the first time pointed out they’d been invited to the restaurant’s launch party, which is the sort of event you really only have if there’s a restaurant available to launch.

Still, Norwich City Council said they had made “numerous visits” but were unable to establish it was a restaurant. You’d have thought they’d have enough to go on when they found dining room seating for at least 20 people – and also a bar.

For some reason, they decided to grant him permission to use the house as a bed and breakfast. He was allowed to serve food, but only in the mornings, and he still wasn’t supposed to be offering booze.

This didn’t solve a thing and the neighbors were growing increasingly frustrated. One claimed they had seen seven people eating inside the building, all at the same time.

Another called a journalist and said they’d been able to purchase a takeout meal from this definitely-not-a-restaurant. This was during the UK’s first national COVID-19 lockdown.

The newspaper tried the same thing and was not only provided with a full and complete menu via text message, but offered the option for dining in. At the time, this was very much not allowed in an actual restaurant, though it was apparently just fine to go eat dinner with your friend Mr. Williams in his suspiciously spacious dining room.

The newspaper asked Mr. Williams again if he was running a restaurant. “I’m not running a restaurant,” was his response.

He was probably posting on Facebook at that very moment, saying things like, “I am inviting friends to sample my take-away Japanese dishes this month. Ring for information.”

The new information was presented to the council and police, who said yet again that there wasn’t enough evidence he was running a restaurant. At this point, we have a menu, advertising, a full dining room, signs, a launch party and actual food, so I’m really not sure what they were looking for.

Mr. Williams did take the sign down, when he was told he didn’t have planning permission for it. In yet another display of supreme self-confidence, he waited a few months until he figured nobody was looking and put it right back up again.

The word “brazen” doesn’t seem strong enough to describe this guy’s behavior, so it didn’t surprise me to find the twist at the end of his tale. Earlier this month, he was visited by a hygiene inspector.

You may recognize the task of a hygiene inspector as to inspect a food preparation area to make sure it meets the standards for serving clean and healthy food. You may also be wondering why a hygiene inspector would be checking a kitchen that his employers are reluctant to believe exists.

Mr. Williams was given the second-highest rating possible after his inspection – the restaurant he does not own and operate got an impressive four stars. He was praised for the food handling, handwashing and hygiene standards of the not-a-food-establishment, which is reassuring.

Personally, I like to know my meals are going to be safe and hygienic when I dine at imaginary restaurants. I wonder what he hasn’t got on the menu today?