This Side of the Pond

Contrary to the stereotype of a young British girl, I did not grow up wanting to be a princess. I imagined it would be a dull existence unsuited to my life ambitions.

It would be a different story if I had developed an early interest in fascinators, dresses and shoes, but I’m still not good at those things. I wanted to be a starfighter pilot on the Battlestar Galactica or dodging mortar shells as I reported the news from warzones, like pioneering journalist Kate Adie. These things are considered too action-packed when you’re part of the royal family.

I cannot imagine the fortitude it would require to agree to marry one of our princes, adorable as they both are. William and Harry became the whole world’s children after the tragic death of their mother, but would you really want to be one of their wives?

Kate and Meghan loved those boys enough to walk down the aisle, knowing they were selling themselves wholesale to the public. It’s not a decision I could see myself making.

To the untrained eye, the royals have it easy. They spend their lives gallivanting off to gorgeous foreign destinations and wearing fancy clothes while the taxpayer bears the burden – right?

Yes, but also no. I would describe it more as the UK public paying them to perform a role and providing props that will impress the audience – which is the rest of the world.

The pomp and glory is not for them to enjoy – it’s for the rest of us to gaze upon. And even if it was purely for their entertainment, I imagine even horse-drawn carriages grow tiresome when you’re not allowed to call an Uber instead.

Joining the royal family is giving up your autonomy. Your life is no longer your own, your decisions now need to be vetted and you may no longer speak your mind on any subject.

I mention this because there are rumors flying round that Harry and Meghan may be heading across the pond for an extended vacation – or perhaps to live in the States permanently. Baby Archie has dual nationality because his mom is already allowed to live here, so it would be possible, but there’s no telling how much truth there is to the whispers.

After all, there’s no trusting what the tabloids have to say, and there never has been. I remember it taking quite a few years of my youth to realize there’s a huge difference between “proper” newspapers and the ones that fib about celebrities in mostly capital letters.

Harry despises the tabloids, and I don’t think we can blame him. It’s understandable that he is scarred by the idea that a group of paparazzi ran Princess Diana into that tunnel in Paris, and the same group of paps took photographs of the crash they’d just caused.

I can only imagine how incensed he felt when the tabloids began to turn on his new wife, accusing her of all sorts of bad behavior because she didn’t seem to want to “conform” to royal standards. Meghan was the darling of the front page until it became clear that she doesn’t have a great relationship with her dad – and the tabloids smelled blood in the water.

It wasn’t long before the stories started. She was reported to have thrown a fit when the Queen wouldn’t let her wear her first choice of tiara; to have complained that the centuries-old abbey she was married in needed some air freshener; and – shock, horror – to have closed her own car door.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Some of the stories were simply ludicrous – at one point, she was being criticized for her choice of nail polish.

Twice, now, Harry has issued official statements to the tabloids. The first was to rail against them for being racist towards his soon-to-be-wife; the second was more recently, when the couple launched legal action against one tabloid for publishing the contents of a private letter Meghan sent to her father.

He has also been trying to retain some semblance of privacy, especially since his wife fell pregnant, by not posing his wife outside the hospital doors with her brand new baby just minutes after she gave birth, not announcing who the godparents would be and generally refusing to follow royal tradition when he felt it would be damaging to Meghan and his child.

If the aim is to make Harry and Meghan conform to some mystical standard of royalness, telling tales in the tabloids isn’t the way to go about it. When I heard rumor that they may be thinking about leaving the royal family, it didn’t come as a surprise.

It made me sad, because I grew up alongside William and Harry and they’ve always been a visible part of my life, but I disagree with those who say this is the price you pay for joining the royal family. Meghan accepted the duties expected of her willingly: she took on good causes, raised awareness and offered patronage, all while visibly representing the UK around the world.

Becoming the tabloids’ scapegoat was not listed on the job description. As for Harry, well, he didn’t ask to be born a royal and he’s never been comfortable in the role.

He seemed to be at his happiest when he was serving as a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan alongside U.S. troops. He’d been pulled back from his British unit because the enemy caught wind of his presence, which put everyone else in danger, but he was able to maintain anonymity during his second trip.

I don’t think he wanted to come home. I don’t know if I would have, either.

Most of the royals understand and accept the role they were born into; for most, it is a sacred and willing duty. But most of the royals avoided the horrific experience of walking behind their mother’s casket in front of millions of viewers and most didn’t grow up believing their parent was murdered by the tabloid press.

I don’t blame Harry for feeling protective, or for his less-than-glowing opinion of being a royal. If he and Meghan do decide to move here, I will understand. In fact, I’ll be waiting for them at the airport with a nice cup of tea and a handwritten guide to snow driving.